December 11, 2012 by meximo70
In order to remove yourself from the profile of a “suspicious person” the H.D.H.P.D. has come up with this list of how to stay off the list and prevent being tasered while you’re walking your dog.
1. do not wear dark clothing. at any time of day. wear bright clothing or at least something that has the words “HotDish Hell Crows” on it.
2. Do not wander around your front yard naked. this would also include mumbling to yourself as you survey your lawn ornaments in your birthday suit.
3. if you are not from HotDish Hell…do not be seen alone in public. use the buddy system, make sure that at least one person from HotDish Hell is with your group.
4. Do not run outside ripping open your shirt screaming “stella!! stella!!! stelllllaaaaaaahhhhhh!!” as your wife leaves for work or taking the kids to school.
5. wearing pants that hang off the bottom of your thighs exposing your batman boxers with your shoes untied, your juggalo hoodie up, with smoke emitting from you eventhough you’re not smoking a cigarette will warrant a call to 9-1-1 from a frightened woman who can’t enjoy Mankato 12’s “bandwagon” polka show because you’re creeping her the hell out.