Conversations in HotDish Hell, MN #12: Renting in Hell


December 19, 2012 by meximo70

rentsignFinding a suitable apartment in Hell is hard enough, especially trying to find a place that is priced at affordable rates that don’t look like something out of the movie “Deliverance”.

Rent based on income is not always the best place to look as i’ve found out searching for a place to live:

rentslumsLandlord: just got your application back, Mr. Gundersen, and we’d be more than happy to accept you as a tenant.

Me: awesome. what do we need to finish the deal so i can move in?

Landlord: First and last months rent plus deposit.

Me: (calculating) so we’re looking at about $900?

Landlord: (pause) noooo…$1680.00.

Me: (choking) um..uh…excuse me?

Landlord: that’s $740 for your first months rent, another $740 for last months rent and a $200 deposit.

Me: er…um…your ad said $300 a month.

Landlord: based on your income, the two bedroom is $740 plus utilities.

Me: PLUS UTILITIES? your ad said utilities were paid except water and garbage?

Landlord: well, because of your income the rate is higher plus you have to pay for your utilities.

Me: let me get this straight…since i have a job i have to pay more than double a month for the same apartment someone who makes less would have to pay?

Landlord: yes, that is how it works with income based rent.

Me: why am i getting screwed for having a job?

Landlord: (pausing) it’s a fair price based on your income…

Me: fair? if i was paying that for rent i could just well buy a lakehome for that!

Landlord: so will you be moving in on the first?

Me: as soon as i quit my job and apply for welfare, i’ll be moving in.

Landlord: that’s not funny, Mr. Gundersen.

Me: neither is your rent policy.


2 thoughts on “Conversations in HotDish Hell, MN #12: Renting in Hell

  1. Super-G says:

    Mr Squishy is looking for a roommate.

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