January 8, 2013 by meximo70
Every year I used to head up north to Mille Lacs Lake with a group of friends and go ice fishing for the weekend. Needless to say, we really didn’t fish, we more or less rented a fish house out on the lake and drank whiskey, smoked cigars, played cards and talked smart.
In Mille Lacs, the Native Americans have been battling with the government to keep their spear fishing rights granted to them by an old treaty. This does not fair well with the rest of the population of fishermen who feel it’s unfair.
So when i went up, i had fairly long hair then, mullet if i remember right. My first night at the resort pub i got a taste of how the fisherfolk thought of native americans.
Me: How’s the walleye biting this weekend?
Patron: Shouldn’t be too bad for you *CENSORED* indians! Rot in hell!
Me: well, merry christmas to you.
Patron: *CENSORED* you!!
The next episode was a little more dramatic. It was morning, we had all woke up and decided it would be a good idea to hop in my minivan (yes, minivan) and head back to the resort and have some breakfast and a few bloody marys.
On the way back to the fish house was a little worse. The snow had melted some and when i thought my van was just sliding on the slushy ice, it was actually breaking through the ice. My passengers bailed, i was stupid and tried driving my van out of the growing hole.
when water started creeping through the floor i opened my window and crawled out. There my van sat with it’s rear submerged and the engine sticking out.
My passengers went back to the resort to get help while i stayed with the van. This the help i recieved while i waited:
“Hahahahahahaha! Should be able to spear yourself some fish now, eh, savage!”
“Karma’s a *CENSORED*, ain’t it, *CENSORED*hole!”
“Jump in and i’ll see if i can’t spear you out of there!”
“Where’s your tribe now, Tonto??”
Eventually, the resort came out with his truck and I had to jump in the water and hook up the tow straps to the back end of my van. He pulled me out and took me to shore. The boys borrowed a couple snowmobiles and got all of our gear from the fish house.
We had to take the wheels off and heat the hubs up with sunflower propane heaters to get the ice out so the wheels wouldn’t lock up. After doing that and a few tequila’s later, we drove our way back home. I haven’t been out on the ice since.