April 4, 2013 by meximo70
First, it was Senor Cinemas. We didn’t know what took the movie franchise down. The local baptist preacher would like to think it was his call for boycotting the “porn renting Godless video store”. But one day it was there…the next it wasn’t.
Then, it was the HotDish Hell Five Ponds Cinema. The first time it closed because the owners weren’t paying their rent. Then one of the employees bought it, and he was doing quite well. But then movie distributors began distributing their films via digital and he didn’t have nor could he afford the equipment to accept digital. So with a fruitless search for help. He ended up closing his doors.
But we all stood tough, knowing we still had Brand New Video. But alas, they too are closing their store…and within days and without warning.
So what does that leave us with? The Dread Box. They’ve managed to invade the local McDonalds, Walgreen’s and H.I. Vee grocery. This mechanical menace that promises to have your favorite movie in stock, but when you get there…sometimes the touch screen works, sometimes it doesn’t. Then you have to get your debit card to work in it and sometimes it’s recognized, sometimes it’s not. Get through those protocols and your movie may not even be there! If you’re someone like me who likes indie films, well, you’re shyte outta luck (sorry, irish grandpop coming out). There is no way you’re going to find indie movies in a Dread Box in the middle of Bumfark, Egypt leave alone any classic movies like “The Graduate” or “Highplains Drifter”.
So what’s your other choice? Neck Flix! They invade our homes. You can either stream them online, through your XBox your Nintendo Wii, through your phone. If you have to have a DVD in your possession to hold and smell, then you can do mail-order disc renting. Sure, they’re only around $8 a month, but that’s for B-grade movies or movies you can already see on cable. If you want something more than that it’s $12.
In either case, there’s no choice anymore. Unless you want to drive an hour in either direction to see a movie, then you’re going to have to get your entertainment from a machine. we now have no reason to leave our homes.